Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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