Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
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