At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
