one might say we're banned from that church
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
