Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
