My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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