If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
