"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
