my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
