at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I will pee on everything he values.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
