you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
