We're like a lot better than the average bears
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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