At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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