If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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