Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
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