69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
