So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
