You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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