i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
