You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
