You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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