Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
