I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
