How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
