Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
