so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
