I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
