i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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