So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
