She is in my trunk
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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