Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
