btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
