True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
