im gay
i know
yea but for you.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
