Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
