Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
