I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
only if we run a train.
done.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
