She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
