Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
