i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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