I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
