glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
