p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
