Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
