batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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