Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
im six kinds of drunk right now
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
