i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
