and my herpes radar will keep us safe
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
