Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
