I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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