You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
