Fuck appropriateness.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize