he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
