Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
cat food counts as protein by the way
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
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