new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
